MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS

THE MAN RULES

AT LAST A GUY (BY REQUEST OF THE WOMEN) HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE. (BY REQUEST OF THE WOMEN)

THESE ARE OUR RULES!
PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED "1” ON PURPOSE!

WE ARE A SIMPLE LOT ONLY BECAUSE IF WE COULD THINK AND SPEAK FOR OURSELVES, THEN WHOM WOULD TAKE CARE OF US AND TELL US WHAT TO DO?

YOU DON’T HAVE TO ANSWER IT IF YOU ARE NOT INCLINED TOO!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT...
YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN.
YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. SUNDAY SPORTS IT'S LIKE THE FULL MOON,It's THE CHANGING OF THE TIDES.
LET IT BE.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT.
LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:
SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION. ANY FURTHER DISCUSSION WILL LEAD TO CONFUSION.

1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO.
SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.


1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT.
IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.


1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE...
DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING
OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE.
NOT BOTH...
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS...

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE.

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS.
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT.
WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF IT ITCHES, IT WILL BE SCRATCHED. WE DO THAT.

AS AN EXAMPLE, OUR PRIVATES, 1ST WE SCRATCH THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE ITCHY AND 2ND TO MAKE SURE THEY ARE STILL THERE, A PAIR BONDING.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY "NOTHING," WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG.
WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR.

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE... REALLY.

1. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS BASEBALL
OR GOLF.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1.

BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING.

So, I don't have friends,I just know people.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Family and friends:

*CAUTION: there is language in this that may make you blush, so watch out!!.And,I am writing this under the influence of some migthy fine wine.SO, its no stoned left unsmoked.!!,I mean no smoke is left unstoned. This article is supported by the "Woodford Tobacco and Clothing Company",growing since 1972 0r 71'.

Just to clear up any misconceptions about family and friends. This is my personal and humble opinion of what has occurred to me and I feel compelled to share, ain’t I nice?. And if anyone thinks I am writing about them,I am not,but it fits,then wear it.??

Friends, are people that I know and they know me and having said that, it also means they could also be called non friends aka enemies. So, I don't have friends, I just know people. Ain’t it grand, life is so simple.

But,a flash has occured; wait the person that lives beside (aka neighor,is there a bee in neigbhour?) me has said the following,"I hate her/them".?, and she explains that my manners towards her have changed and this is her conclusion.?

So, I have to say to her,"I don't hate you" the fact is, I love you BUT, I don't like you very much. Have I lost you that one. I am saying" I don't like the people that I love".!! Hate is a nasty word and I don't have time for that kind of shit. As small as my life is" its still large enough" to NOT HATE PEOPLE".

If you piss me off, be secure in the knowledge that you are no longer a person of interest to me and as far as I am concerned, you are probably a nice fellow,but not to ME.!! So,please, piss somebody else off.

(My mother taught me to be polite,even if I am dis-pissed or angry,it shows true a gentlemen).

Family are also people that know me and may or may not like me and can also be called non family aka antagonist. I lump my in-laws in this category because they are related to me thru marriage. I didn’t ask for this package it just came with the marriage.

Confused, wait until you all meet them, all doubt will be removed. You can chose your friends but you can’t chose your relatives. Suddenly, life ain’t simple and it gets complicated later.!

I like to keep shit to myself about myself and my Family and the less everyone knows the better. Well, it doesn’t work like that in this Family, because we have Bud-in-ski’s and Gladys Kravitz’s. And the rest are really agreeable.

Born again and saved are a challenge.(b.a.a.s.) there is no correct language that you can use that is non offensive,…but; go to hell, works. This conveys you are pissed and tread no further.

Bud-in-ski’s poke their nose into everyone’s business and make it miserable when they go the next stage and Kravitz’s the news. They are worst than magpies. The b.a.a.s. want to save everyone and all evils that have befallen upon you.

So, where the hell were you when I needed you? Say what, that’s not what you want to do and could I find someone else? I, guess you can afford an attitude and that’s good or not?.

I thought I was ok, apparently, not in their eyes, it seems, so, save me Lord from these people. Let us pray.

“Oh Lord, I freely admit that I sin openly, daily and without shame and I am truly remorseful when its time I realized that I had sinned. You and I have a conversation and its all ok. But, get those sinful born a-gains off my butt.! Amen.”

The challenging part is to get the goody two shoes to back off and avoid them getting a ham sandwich in between the eyes.

Its, like when people quit smoking, its suddenly their crusade to save all the smokers whom, are happy about their habit and also don’t like to be preached too and admonished. I say, eat shit and piss off already, please, we are fine.

I have a definition for “relative humidity” as well. As an example the brother-in-law axes (that’s right axes), you for a loan of money(relative).

I, say “ piss off” (humidity). If you lend them the money, you won’t see it again and I wouldn’t even humiliate myself in asking, but if they ask how I am, “piss off, you don’t need to know, you big asshole”, or you fat bastard or other disagreeable language.

So, in conclusion I rest my case, now if it doesn’t make any sense then I have succeed in confusing you all. I just need to write the bar exam and guess what I can put a shingle that I am qualified to be a lawyer.

Two angels standing at my bed,kids prayer.

We are teaching our kids to pray at nite! So,far,they like it!



Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord, my soul to keep.

Two angels standing at my bed,
One at my feet and one at my head,

To guide me safely through the night,
and wake me up with the morning light.

Please bless my Mother and Father
My Nana and Poppa

Mom ere’ and Popp ere’
Missy and my two fish

Joey my dog
My three brothers

Uncle Mark and Auntie Heather
Braeden and Coulton

Uncle Bill and Aunt Linda

G.G. (Great Grandmother)

Amen



’

PARENT - Job Description

PARENT - Job Description

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way,
I don't believe any of us would have done it!!!! This should be taught in school starting at Grade 7.

POSITION:
Mom, Mommy-help-me, Mama, Ma,
Dad, Daddy-o, Dada, Pa, or hey Pops

JOB DESCRIPTION:

Long term, team players needed, for challenging,
permanent work in an often chaotic environment.

Candidates must possess excellent communication
and organizational skills and be willing to work
variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends
and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.

You will be required to think for yourself and be a self starter with little supervision and improvise at the drop of a hat.

Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!

Travel expenses not reimbursed.

Extensive courier duties also required.


RESPONSIBILITIES:

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
until someone needs $5.

Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.

Also, must possess the physical stamina of a
pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat
in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.

Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets
and stuck zippers.

Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and
coordinate production of multiple homework projects.

Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.

Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute,
an embarrassment the next.

Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a
half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.

Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

Must assume final, complete accountability for
the quality of the end product.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance, laundry and
janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION: None.

Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.

A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because
of the assumption that college will help them
become financially independent.

When you die, you give them whatever is left.
So, plan to leave a bill for an amount owing payable by them.

The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

Now, don’t that beat all?

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.


Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated
for the fabulous job they do...
forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

** AND A FOOTNOTE 'THERE IS NO RETIREMENT -- EVER!!! **

But, wait there is a window of opportunity for a special few, where you could combine your supposed retirement with caring for some more kids. After all if you made it through the recruitment training, so you should hot stuff.
And of course a new job title of Grandparents, it doesn’t get any better than this?

Once Upon A Time In Mumbaai

Once Upon A Time In Mumbaai

It’s your Retirement day

The sister-in-law recently retired, so the least I could do was to send her this e-mail. Well,I didn't send it ,so i guess i will blog it.


Hi Carole;

It’s your Retirement day, wow what a feeling that must be. When I left work it was a sense of relief and I was sadden that I was going to miss my GMC truck the most!!. In my mind I had departed a few months prior to the event.

I, guess there were only a few people that I would miss, but I got over that quickly. 0h,I am sure in your case there will be some people sadden by your departure, but guess what, they will get over it.

And, others will be happy as hell you are going!.

Just to show you proper reverence and admiration the staff will have “burnt offerings” on random days of the year and remember WHO WAS RESPONSIBLE for this event.

In this way you will be acknowledged for a method of cuisine long practiced by your ancestors. “Sometimes I burn shit, so what.!, we will have only dessert to-night.

Hope you don’t mind if this make’s you all famous, I will put on my blog.

This I know; and it’s true in all cases

This I know; and it’s true in all cases. All supervisors are weasels, not your friend, no matter the situation; you can’t be both and expect the work to get done.

And if by chance you are partners in your own company ,same rules apply. Respect is earned not given and your technical skill level will make you acknowledged.

Being a nice guy lasts only so long then you better know something , know when to duck and when to stand, admit your wrong and learn and say a pray in thanks for favors rendered, make yourself open-minded, Amen.

I learned:
• To always acknowledge hard work; the best and sincere praise will be appreciated.
• To give credit where it is due; otherwise ask for cash and half down before you start work.
• To never forget to say thank you; be sincere, don’t grovel.
• To look people in the eye; if you are going to do something, do it, the best job you can. Give it 100 %.
• To be respectful; its ok to say NO when required. You get more respect that way.
and, above all;
• To listen. And I mean to listen closely and mindfully – to truly understand what people are saying.

In the workplace poor speaking skills can weaken your careers, if you can’t communicate your ideas you can’t lead. Therefore people can’t be promoted who cannot speak well or with passion.

The BEST investment you’ll ever make:

The BEST investment you’ll ever make:



The Price of Children


This is just too good not to pass on to all. Here is something absolutely positive for a change. I have repeatedly seen the breakdown of the cost of raising a child, but this is the first time I have seen the rewards listed this way. It's nice.



The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140.00 for a middle income family. Talk about price shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition.

But $160,140.00 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into:


* $8,896.66 a year,
* $741.38 a month,
* $171.08 a week.
* A mere $24.24 a day!
* Just over a dollar an hour.



Still, you might think the best financial advice is; don't have children if you want to be 'rich.' Actually, it is just the opposite.


What do you get for your $160,140.00?
* Naming rights . First, middle, and last!
* Glimpses of God every day.
* Giggles under the covers every night.
* More love than your heart can hold.
* Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
* Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
* A hand to hold usually covered with jelly or chocolate.
* A partner for blowing bubbles and flying kites.
* Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the
boss said or how your stocks performed that day.



For $160,140.00, you never have to grow up. You get to:
* finger-paint,
* carve pumpkins,
* play hide-and-seek,
* catch lightning bugs,
* never stop believing in Santa Claus.

You have an excuse to:
* keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh,
* watch Saturday morning cartoons,
* go to Disney movies, and
* wish on stars.



You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day, and cards with backward letters for Father's Day.

For a mere $24.24 a day, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for:


* retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof,
* taking the training wheels off a bike,
* removing a splinter,
* filling a wading pool,
* coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and
* coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets
treated to ice cream regardless.



You get a front row seat in history to witness the:
* First step,
* First word,
* First bra,
* First date,
* First time behind the wheel.



You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match..


In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits, so one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost.



That is quite a deal for the price.

Love & enjoy your children & grandchildren & great-grandchildren.

It's the best investment you'll ever make and for those of you whom are into perpetual youth you can raise them as well.

THE STUTTERING KITTEN

THE STUTTERING KITTEN



FROM THE MOUTH OF A CHILD...YOU NEVER KNOW.



A teacher is explaining biology to her 3rd grade students. She says, "Human beings are the only animals that stutter."



A little girl raises her hand. saying, "I had a kitty-cat who stuttered."
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.



"Well,'' she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!"



The teacher exclaimed, "That must've been scary,"



The little girl said, "It sure was. My kitty raised her back, went 'Sssss, Sssss, Sssss' and before she could say 'Shit,' the Rottweiler ate her!"


The teacher had to leave the room.

KNEELING HIGH JUMP RECORD - A Laugh and a Smile

KNEELING HIGH JUMP RECORD - A Laugh and a Smile

This will become a popular event soon!! And you saw it here,more or less first??.

If you are about my age or older.....read this.REFLECTIONS

If you are about my age or older, or even younger, this is a very important read......... when I first read it, it was like I was reading my own words but I knew I did not write it.

You may experience the same thoughts as you read it. Whatever..... it is a very worthwhile email to read and think about....One of these days this will be applicable to us all!!

And it’s winter before we know it....
REFLECTIONS

You know, time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing of years.
It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate. And yet, in a way,
it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all.....

And I have glimpses of how it was back then, and of all my hopes and dreams.....But, here it is.....the winter of my life and it catches me by surprise.... How did I get here so fast? I lived my life one day at a time same as you and yet?.

Where did the years go and where did my babies go?
And, where did my youth go?

I remember well......

Seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that winter
was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like.

But, here it is.....

Wife retired and she’s really getting gray.....I like to call her my platinum blonde.
She moves slower and I see an older woman now.

She’s in better shape than me.....but, I see the great change.

Not the one I married who was young and vibrant...

But, like me, her age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we’d be. We have become our parents and the shit we laughed about, about the shit they did, and we said not me, guess what ,…..we now do it.

My hearing at one time was selective and I tuned out the kids and now I wish for the times back even for a moment to hear my name called by those young voices. Hey pops, can, I borrow the car?

But, we are lucky, well some days I don’t think so…….my wife and I are raising our 3 Grandkids??, (Family separation.. if we didn’t take the kids, we would never see or hear of them ..again, we didn’t know and I didn’t want to find out )

Yes, some days there are 4 kids, I fall in this category when the oldest child and his poppa, which would be me, have a pissing contest and see if we can out articulate each other with sarcasms. The first swear word finish’s the contest and we stop. NO WINNERS !

Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day!, thank goodness Saturday night is still bath night here.

And taking a nap is not a treat anymore.....it’s mandatory! Cause if I don’t on my own free will.....I just fall asleep where I sit! They claim this makes you all younger and I will experiment and let you know if it works. All I know is I sure saw a lot of wood….lots!

And so, now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things. My hands, especially the fingers ache the most on some days.

I know that though the winter has come, and I’m not sure how long it will last,

and when it’s over.....it’s over! I have been diagnosed with cancer, so a another chapter to add to my life book.

Yes, I have regrets.

There are things I wish I hadn’t done.....things I should have done. But, indeed, there are many things I’m happy to have done. It’s all in a lifetime.....So, if you’re not in your winter yet......

Let me remind you.....It will be here faster than you think!

So........

Whatever you would like to accomplish in your life.....Please do it quickly!

Life goes by quickly. So.....Do what you can today, because you can never be sure whether this is your winter or not!

You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life.....So, live for good today and Say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember.......

“Life is a gift to you.

The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after.

Make it a fantastic one!”
.
LIVE IT WELL and PROSPER and may the Force be with you!

FARM KID in the ARMY

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.


I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.


Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.


We go on 'route marches,' which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A 'route march' is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.


The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.


This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting at you like the Hogget boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges They come in boxes.


Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake . I only beat him once.. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6' and 130 pounds and he's 6'8' and near 300 pounds dry.


Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.


Your loving daughter, Alice.

In the Margin | Blogs | London Free Press

In the Margin | Blogs | London Free Press

I got a ticket and maybe I deserved, maybe not, love the freedom of complaining about it!!. The article is called "Ticket in the daylight".

ADD & ADHD - Dr. Svec Institute of Psychological Services

ADD & ADHD - Dr. Svec Institute of Psychological Services

Wikipedia Lies, Accuracy of Internet information

Wikipedia Lies, Accuracy of Internet information

Just like in the movies,Judgement Day is getting closer and Big Brother is watching us!

Confederate P120 Fighter Combat Black Flag Motorcycle Review - Pictures of the Confederate Black Flag Motorcycle

Confederate P120 Fighter Combat Black Flag Motorcycle Review - Pictures of the Confederate Black Flag Motorcycle

YouTube - Sandwich Paradise: Tony's I75

YouTube - Sandwich Paradise: Tony's I75

If you get tired of shopping,you can refuel your body and soul here.

Inspections found recalled egg farms filthy, full of maggots and manure

Inspections found recalled egg farms filthy, full of maggots and manure

Well,well,well,did you know these bastards were blaming people for NOT COOKING their eggs long enough?? Shame on you,my hope is you get fined enough to make you remember beyond when even the cows come home.

Canadian Motorcycle Articles

Canadian Motorcycle Articles

It's high time for families to reclaim Sundays - The Sarnia Observer - Ontario, CA

It's high time for families to reclaim Sundays - The Sarnia Observer - Ontario, CA

Flying fish knocks paddler from US river race - Yahoo! Canada News

Flying fish knocks paddler from US river race - Yahoo! Canada News

This is too weird to be true,but strange things can happen only in America,you say,pity,what?

Run A Marathon – Even If You’re A Fat Bastard

Run A Marathon – Even If You’re A Fat Bastard

10 Ways to Live Life to the Fullest

10 Ways to Live Life to the Fullest

This is something you all ready know,I am just reminding you when you lose focus.

Three exquisitely shined red marbles

Read the following and have a GREAT day! If there were more of us that did what this man did,just imagine what the effect on people could be. I had my own Mr.Miller and we shared him with the neighbour hood kids. He would bring us hockey sticks from the arena and we would cut his grass in the summer and do what ever to repay him for his interest and kindness in us. We weren't as poor but still we were in need at times. Thank you,Mr and Mrs.Miller....Amen.



I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily apprising a basket of freshly picked green peas.

I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.

Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.


'Hello Barry, how are you today?'

'H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas. They sure look good.'

'They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?'

'Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time..'

'Good... Anything I can help you with?'

'No, Sir. Jus' admirin' th em peas..'

'Would you like to take some home?' asked Mr. Miller.

'No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with.'


'Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?'

'All I got's my prize marble here.'

'Is that right? Let me see it' said Miller.

'Here 'tis. She's a dandy.'


'I can see that. Hmm mmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?' the store owner asked.

'Not zackley but almost.'

'Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble'. Mr. Miller told the boy.

'Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller.'

Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me.


With a smile she said, 'There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever.

When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store.'

I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved to Colorado , but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.


Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died. They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.

Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts...all very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket.

Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket. Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.

Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.

'Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about.

They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size.....they came to pay their debt.'

'We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,' she confided, 'but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho .'

With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.


The Moral :
We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.

Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles

~ A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself.....

An unexpected phone call from an old friend ....

Green stoplights on your way to work...

The fastest line at the grocery store...

A good sing-along song on the radio...

Your keys found right where you left them.

Send this to the people you'll never forget. I just Did....

If you don't send it to anyone, it means you are in way too much of a hurry to even notice the ordinary miracles when they occur..

IT'S NOT WHAT YOU GATHER, BUT WHAT YOU SCATTER THAT TELLS WHAT KIND OF LIFE YOU HAVE LIVED!

Living

To watch the sun set in the west
Without regretting;

To hail its advent in the east-
The night forgetting

To touch the cup with eager lips
And taste, not drain it;

To woo and tempt and court a bliss
And not attain it;

To fondle and caress a joy, yet
Hold it lightly;

Lest it become necessity and cling
Too tightly;

To smother care in happiness and
Grief in laughter;

To hold the present close – not
Questioning hereafter;

To have enough to share – to
know the joy giving;

to thrill with all the sweets of
life – is living.

To have and to hold from this day
From this day forward.

Amen.

Some Days Poem | Life Poems | Poetry of Life

Some Days Poem | Life Poems | Poetry of Life: "some days i want to live
some days i wish it’s over
some days i long to see
some days i wait to die;
some days i think i am fine
some days i believe i have a problem
some days i am strong
some days i am weak;
some days i am closer to truth
some days it seems far far away
some days i think i understand
some days i am just lost;
some days i just wish
everything would disappear
some days i just hope
you could be near;
some days i have a feeling
one day everything
will be alright
and that day is closer
than ever;"

Sometimes Life Is Hard, Courage Poems

Sometimes Life Is Hard, Courage Poems

I hope this is ok to copy and post,if not I am sure I will find this out soon.Anyway right this is a real poem about pain in any form and its to do with our personal problems as well as our loved ones that are having a trying time.

life is hard..
Sometimes
© Kristin
Sometimes

Sometimes we see things that aren’t meant to be seen.
Sometimes things aren’t always as they seem.

Sometimes we need someone to call our own,
Especially when we’re alone.

Sometimes people just can’t understand,
Why things get out of hand.

Sometimes life just isn’t fair,
Especially when people just don’t care.

And sometimes it's hard to say,
Why things have to be this way.

Sometimes it’s all you can do to get by,
Especially when dreams continue to die.

Sometimes it’s nice to sit in the rain.
Even to just relieve the pain.

And when we’ve had a really bad day,
Sometimes we just need to get away.

We never know what’s wrong with out pain.
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.

And sometimes when people get hurt,
Even the strongest ones may need comfort.




Source: Sometimes Life Is Hard, Courage Poems http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/life/poetry.asp?poem=18061#ixzz0t9D5XENK

You have to love this lawyer!

Part of rebuilding New Orleans caused residents often to be challenged with the task of tracing home titles back potentially hundreds of years.

With a community rich with history stretching back over two centuries, houses have been passed along through generations of family, sometimes making it quite difficult to establish ownership.

Here's a great letter an attorney wrote to the FHA on behalf of a client: Apparently true:

You have to love this lawyer........


A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply.


(Actual reply from FHA):

"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title.

While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."


Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows:
(Actual response):

"Your letter regarding title in Case No.189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 206 years covered by the present application.

I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased by the United States from France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application.

For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain.

The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to India by the Spanish monarch, Queen Isabella.

The good Queen Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus's expedition.

Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana .

God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it, and the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory.

Now, may we have our damn loan?"


The loan was immediately approved

The Last Rose of Summer.

There stands alone on a late summer morn,at the doorstep of the Fall
a brilliant pink rose,And I 'm sure it knows,its the last one of them all.

But it doesn't bend or droop with summers age,or look out of place when seen.
its petals are full,its pink color bright...with a sweet scent replacing those that had been.

It faces the house on the south side of its bush,which protect it when the north winds blow.
plus an added advantage for we can see...A lush bush of green with an inner pink glow..

So,there it stands alone,on a late summer morn,a rose
that will signal others,which will come next year for you to appreciate.

and Again the last rose of summer.

(written by her son and given to her on a plaque of rough hewn slab wood and then finished with
an inscription expressing his love for his Mom.)

In reply to your request !

After all that research it is no doubt you wished to paid.

A letter to a friend in Ireland,whose fancy it is to write letters of wit and which I relied in all due haste.

Dear Sir:

In reply to your request for payment,I wish to inform you that the present condition of my bank account makes it almost impossible.

My shattered financial condition is due to federal laws,provincial laws,county laws,village laws,brother-in-laws,sister-in-laws, and out-laws.

Through these laws I am compelled to pay income tax,property tax,business tax,amusement tax,head tax,cosmetic tax,tobacco tax,alcohol tax,gas tax,inheritance tax,food tax,light tax,excise tax,car tax,garbage tax,water tax,sewer tax,telephone tax,sales tax,transportation tax,and the hidden tax.

I am also required to contribute to every charity,society, or organization which the genius man is capable of bringing to life;to the hospital expansion,to minor hockey,to figure skating,to senior hockey,to the curling fund,to the United Fund,to the Centennial Fund,to the Red Cross,the White Cross,the Blue Cross,.the Purple Cross,and the Double Cross.

For my own safety I am required to carry life insurance,health insurance,accident insurance,fire insurance,property insurance,liability insurance,earthquake insurance,tornado insurance,old age insurance,and unemployment insurance.

My business is so governed that it is no easy matter to find out who owns it. I am inspected,expected,suspected,disrespected,rejected,dejected,examined,re-examined,required,summoned,fined,commandes,and compelled,until I provide an inexhaustible supply of money,for every known need,desire, and hope of the human race.

Simply because I refuse to donate to something or other I am boycotted,talked,lied about,held up held down and robbed until I am almost ruined.


I can tell you honestly that expect for a miracle that happened,I could not enclose this cheque for payment.The wolf that comes to the my door nowadays just had pups in my kitchen. I sold the pups and her is the money.

Now Ian what were you saying about your black socks??.

Your sheppen shearer from over ohm
Bruce