We Need Another National Holiday!!

Do I need to say more??,yes just give a minute of your time.!!


All ain’t lost, we have the cave, we have snacks, we have beer, we have each other for company. Misery loves company and we don’t like been miserable.




So, after a few grunts and groans we have decided to “leaf the leafs for the season”. As the world turns so do we and we have to look forward to more games and pick and chose outré teams after each game finishes.



We are of the opinion now, that all that happens to the teams that will be in the play offs, will use the numbers below #8 as target practice.



Just as a herd is comprised by the weakest members, culling is necessary in order for the fit to continue and as cave men we are going to settle for nothing less than the best there is. Life isn’t fair and we didn’t plan it this way.



The team has shot its self in the skate and if there is any justice in the world, some of this team’s players, not mentioning any names, like “Paw-n-newt-left-feet” should be awarded assistance points in the others teams goals, as they did very little to defend the goalie.



Isn’t that your job to defend against the scoring of pucks into your own net?. From what we saw there was very little effort in that direction and we therefore wish to award demerit points in assistance to certain players on “the team”.



In fact they should be awarded ”hindrance points” as well. This would make their numbers very impressive indeed and the bean-counters would welcome the extra work.



Looks good on the résumé’ as well, most hindrance points awarded to a player whose team lost the most games in a season and never made it to the playoffs and that person will earn a Mc Bozo award for his lack of effort in earning this placement.



*do you follow what I am saying” if the foo-cares’ fuckers’ up enough times he gets rewarded in a way conducive to his efforts.”. Double dipping just like the crappies in the government get, what a life, eh??. He gets paid, even if he/they don’t perform or if he does, he can’t lose, just like “the burke”.



Carrying this idea forward we could have a new award given to the league as well and have it named after the most useless defense person of the league. I know I am treading on some very sacred ground, but hey its gotta be done.!! “Pap-Neff-pate' Memorial Plate”



The cave men will discuss this idea in some short beers and write our intentions to the “team” and let their PR department talk to our people and move this forward. Because this and the golf course is the thing that’s moving forward this year.



And they aren’t going to BE golfing, they are going to caddies or grounds keepers, they owe us our money back, you fat bustards. Amen.

*and if we have offended any bodies "feelers" we are sorry,but that is not our intent.
We have the right to be"pissed" and as such we are enpowered to spoff off as required.

So,no hard feelings and please"get over it". Amen,again.

Watching a hockey game is the same to a man,as a Women watching Desperate Housewives.

Rumour; has it the

"Team"

is looking for any or all players that can

 look good in a certain uniform??

If they are able to skate and pass a puck,its a bonus.!!

My friend sent this to me to cheer me up,what a pal. ?? That's, what friends are for.!!
just when you thought you were down and up, a kind gesture.
Man, I am tooo lucky.

http://www.bergerbytes.ca/2012/03/starch-gone-from-leafs/

Yes, I know it’s a bold statement from a guy in a cave who only ventures out certain days to bring the beer, munchies and pepperettes essential for game watching. It’s a tough job but it can only be done by the caveman. This is my full time profession now.


And mind you it’s a long time to game time but there are chores to be done and things to get fixed, cleaned and stowed away. I know the wife and kids don’t understand the fuss but come game time all other activities cease to exist.


You have to put all your energy into the game and begin to cheer the home team even though they are down by 2 goals in the 1st period and its only been 10 minutes. That’s going to be a lot of hooting and hollering’ and cussing, clearly no place for decent folk.

And to keep order in the cave, only faithful people are invited that cheer the same team. The brother-in-law ain’t invited, even if he was the sole owner of the team in question.

During the intermission we regroup and diagram the next tactic, just like on survivor, we try and think out what the coach is thinking and you know he is way off when it comes to the game. His thoughts ain’t like ours, he must know something we don’t.

I, guess that’s my he gets paid the big bucks. So, as the game progress’s not so the cavemen. We seem to retreat back to guttural sounds and universal hand gestures just like other people at hockey games on TV, so are we replicating them or they copying us?.

As the game draws to a close, we are all washed-out, our emotions on a alcoholic high and if our team won or lost seems to be irrelevant now as they shuffle out the back door. The faithful mates pick them up and drag them home, with moans and groans of a game they can’t remember or care about until tomorrow.

Guess, what our team plays tomorrow.

Life is simple again and all is well, until my wife asks, “hey, what the hell do you jack ass’s do in that room of yours”?. The neighbors was asking about the funny noises.

I thought all them were in bed, after all it was after 8:00 o’clock??? And dark??. I guess someone opened the windows and doors, it was getting warm with all the gesticulating..

I, say if they asking questions, then they don’t support our team, and they don’t need to know and they should mind your own business and move along. Some things are best left alone especially, those ham-fisted cave people. Amen.

*this was written after a spirited game and as I was slipping into a malted beverage miasma as this thought occurred to me to write while I was still clairvoyant. Well, I did ??, so how did I do?

**our team got the shit beat outta them last night. Its was awful. It was so bad that the cave was the quietest its ever been and the consumption of beer was nil and those who drank theirs slowly it was like drinking donkey piss, it was that warm. Oh, yes a sad night. Amen,again.

***our team lost again to-night. We started to cheer for other team,no use crying in the beer any more.

Its clear as hell,our team is a practise team for other players to hone their skills.

You need to fire-up the whole team and start over, or is it fire the whole team and start over say with the Marlie's perhaps.. Amen.

So, from here on we have to choose Another team to cheer towards the cup and then follow hopefully a Canadian Team to bring the cup home.

if i have offended anyone with my rabble,please don't take it personally,I am miffed.

There is a purpose for Wiser’s Wednesday night hockey.

Experiment: we drank a 750 ml bottle of Wiser’s Special Blend, Canadian Whiskey, to prove if we could begin to treat the miseries of a cold. There is a purpose for Wiser’s Wednesday night hockey.


The amber liquor was aged to distinction for us to enjoy while watching the “Maple Leafs” play against an American team which will remain nameless at this point because they out scored and out played them on National Television. Ok, its, “Nashville Predators.” Damn fine name.

Which begs the question;” how can guitar players and cowboys play hockey”? I have national pride here and I am not the least prejudiced in any way. Yellow, uniforms?.

We wish to thank those distillers that have labored so hard to produce a fine whiskey that was consumed and the results of whether it cured us or made us not care if we were effected by a flu bug or not!!. We wish to thank the makers of “Canada Dry” soda gingembre, aka ginger ale, for the inclusive, politically correct segment of our readers. (so, are we acceptable?).

Water, which has no known ingredients that are unhelpful for you and the makers of the ginger ale have to list the stuff that it takes to make it. Just because you can’t pronounce the chemicals names, don’t make it a bad thing, as MSG might, for example.

What are trying to cure?. We both have a real nasty cold or flu or something that makes you better for a short time and then kicks your ass for a longer time. Home made soups and other concoctions have been so far ineffectual, so we are down to the basics ………….alcohol.!! I know for a fact that it cures various alignments and cause others.

To-days episode is about the curing part, as I assume you know the other causes this causes. I don’t believe in over the counter cold remedies nor prescriptions either.

Being old school, has no special privileges other than the fact the old guy ,is not listening to anyone when he is sick and to the best of my knowledge I don’t ask for help when I am in a fevered delirium either or so I have been told.!!

I am writing about this research on how it will cure this bug that had besotted us for such a long time and at the same time we are to undergo a hockey game on TV. One thing for sure as the volume of the liquid increases, not so, much, the capacity of intellectual power.

Another property that has been observed in a non medical conclusion, is you grow to be, “ten feet tall and bullet proof” and in the morning the opposite is true. This bares further study.

AS we consumed the untried mixtures in different volumes and temperatures the effects were noted as “I don’t give a shit if they scored again” many times, in increasing volumes as the game continued. How the hell do you shoot at the net, nine times and only score once??. Oh, once is enough to win a game, you say!!. But, they played for 60 minutes. Were they “figure skating”?.

When the game was over, so were we, and if you were expecting any myth busters conclusion, any alcohol if applied correctly in the above proportions does work as intended and a separate crowd of observers must record the results, because “we didn’t give a shit” and the cold continues on its miserable path of settling of scores. Amen

P.S.: it turns out that this cold and cough will last a 100 days,more or less. I like to error on the side of "more". So,we will make the necessary arrangements to bring enough :medicine" to cure this problem for sure.I think I am going to enjoy getting better,its almost cheaper than driving Arizona,but not near as much fun!!. .