Who touched and moved my stuff??.

Hi Joe;

It sure is nice to have the kids in school again, I can relax and my heart beating slowly and in sync with the earths rhythms. Its time for a another tea, green and dark, unsweetened, sounds healthy, with a sugar laden donut on the side.??. what, you gotta have sugar.

What, I want to ask you about today was, did your misses ever move or get rid of some of your stuff that you weren’t using and that was collecting dust, (in her opinion),BUT had a purpose unknown to her, but very crucial to you.??

I can’t prove it here but, I think there is some movement of said stuff that I don’t see any more or remember if I even had it, but I decided I needed to see it for comforts sake. This next line is significant , I think I am losing it..??.

“Its not important to some people, but to me, its very essential that I know this (location on my stuff) or otherwise I am losing my grip on the present situation, I am in and for all I know, I maybe, where I don’t want to be, but I am and I am not from here.”

Reread the above statement, until you get what I am getting at, you all !..,if I need to explain it, then…is there any hope for us Cavemen, ever.??( ok a hint, you leave your shit in a certain spot and when you go looking for it, IT should still be there, unless it was …...??) I, generally put it back when I am finished.

i.e., The other day I was looking a catalogue (reference, beyond question) from the hardware store which is still current to me even though its 2 years old. The only thing that changes is the prices but, otherwise all the stuff is the same. My misses decides this has dust on it and its old and it needs to go to recycling.

I have no problem with that, other than its my stuff that is moving. She cleans her reading material in the same frequency as she changes her mind and I am not in that category. I like to slaver, (drool over) that book and look at every page until I know where everything is.!! This folks, is a sign of mental power in the prime of life, or in plain words, an old guy drooling in a corner over a hardware store catalogue.

The question has arisen as to whether I do talk to myself during these periods in cloud nine. And that will remain just that a question without an answer. Hint; do not bother me when I am speaking.!! lols?.

So, I ask her, “dear did you see my catalogue from Home hardware” ??, without missing a beat she answers , “its old and I will get you a another because I am going up there to-day to look at some bricks.!!” Thank you, dear, that’s fine. Bricks, I did hear bricks and I not going to ask .!!.

If she says she is going to look at bricks, then bricks it is. Notice, here folks, that at no time did she mention she, threw my / our old book away or admit any such thing, BUT, said she would get me a new one instead.

If this isn’t the most diplomatic way of saying, “so you got me”, I don’t know what is.!! The power of words , have always amazed me and that’s why you need to be a trial lawyer, to read between the lines.!!.

So, anyway its back to work, the break is over and I just heard that the truck won’t start and somebody has to go somewhere right now. Can you call a taxi or is that too easy.?? . I love working under pressure, if its not worth doing ,then why do it.?? This will be another story. Bye for now.

p.s., it needs a new battery and can’t complain, its been in the truck for over 10 years, now where is the Interstate Battery catalogue??.., hello, dear, have you seen…..??

*Pacemakers should be set to the High-Medium range and in Auto-pilot mode.!!

And a oxygen tank on stand-by.

Take off your glasses, they will fog up.!!



You look at your catalogue and I will look at mine. The hardware store is at the back.

There will be a time when you gotta quit staring, you all will get dizzy, just saying.
Did you by any chance notice the skipping rope in her hands?.
Well, I am outta breath watching her.!!

The Boy Scout Rides Again, the stupid macaroon.!!

Hi Joe:

Well, we are fine and our kitten is now fixed so we won’t have to worry about more kittens. There are a few people that I have met, that the same thing should have happened to their parents. I know its nasty but you wonder wtf sometimes.

I gotta tell you this story about my supposed friend. Well, since this has happened I don’t think he is a friend, but, he is somebody I know. I asked if I could lend a hand helping him move some stuff into his new home and they said ok. Boy Scout rides again to another flaming adventure. What a macaroon.!!

I was planning to use my truck to help but it turns out there is 4 of us in a car and a trailer to move stuff. I was thinking this is going to be easy and I can be home early and do some stuff around the house. Well, it started that way and then the wheels came off the whole dam train. Somehow, We ended up moving 3 sets of appliances, fridge and stove from 3 locations??. As well or instead, I haven’t figured that one out yet.

So, let me tell you how this went. And for added suspense, the doors had to taken off the fridges because they were large or the door openings were too small and then reassembled again at the new locations. And in one case the house door was removed.

And from what I remember not much was really moved in the first place or maybe. * now pay close attention if you lose your “place” you will have to start over. And maybe you should reread, to grasp this moment, I didn’t believe it when I read it and I was there in person.!! It’s a true story, really, really.

* Having said that,I will remind you that this story has been embellished for dramatic's for your enjoyment.
You don't really think that could happen to a person, even he is a Boy Scout do you.??

Ready.?? Place #1, is the where all the stuff is leaving from, to go to place #2, the new place.

Place #3, is the place where the appliances went to from place # 2 and the appliances from place #3, went to place #1 and the appliances from place #1 went to place #2. And there is a place #4, keep reading.

And when the appliances from place #3 made it back to place #1, They came from place #4, to go to place #3 because we were getting new appliances and place #3, needed some because they just moved in some time ago and it was decided our stuff was better than what was there.. So, Did you get all that.??

Wait, wait, there was stuff moved, only I was not paying much attention and all I know is I was there until about 5 o’clock in the evening and all I had was 2 bottles of water. WTF you say??, yes this is what happened. I might have had a few candies.???, I don’t remember, it was a zen flash.

And when its all moved, then they said well lets eat and there wasn’t a thing started for supper and they were still thinking of what to have. 3 women were there most of the day, (place #2) and they were rearranging all that we had placed there in the first place. What, more places.??

So, if you are a smoker, you don’t get real hungry. But, if are a mean moving machine, I get real hungry. Bullshit to this, I am sorry I hear my mom calling and she says my supper is ready.!! And they still wanted me to stay and eat and I said no, I really have to go home.

And it was a warm day and I was wearing the coveralls made in 99% polyester and they were hot and I was steaming. At least somebody could had enough foresight to have some beverages and pizzas for us. Like a frosty, ice-cold, perspiring, freezing, beer for shits sake. With a thick rising crust with a cheesy surprise and double tinged basil sauces, portabella mushrooms ,red n green peppers, olives, bacon bits, is that too much to ask for???. NO.!!

So, when you get back home and think about all this will a cold one in your hand, all these random thoughts from the day coming crashing into my head and I say, hey there is a story here. Quick scribble it down. And of course I am shaking my head in wonder, WTF, where are some peoples heads.

So, you ask if I can help you move sometime, don’t be surprised if I say” no”, I am helping my mother with something, sorry.!!. all day and I am staying for supper and I am doing the dishes and then we are going to knit some socks.

See you, Joe.

The Crunchy Critter !!

Can you guess what they are saying?

The Crunchy Critter

As promised earlier I would write about this person, it’s a women and just for the records these types come in all sizes and species. Is, this politically correct, I have been known to offend these people that literally hang on each word and make issue of it…yes,.......... I am ok .

So a crunchy critter once identified no longer has a gender, because that’s is a moot point in my opinion. They will no doubt piss you off and that’s their job to do so and you are powerless in your quest to get service delivered to you in a friendly, timely, fashion from her, or them, anyway.

The only satisfaction you are going to get is, silently to yourself, curse her name and call her every name you can think of, to help you deal with the critter that she is. She can get you all revved up quicker than your wife in an argument. Now, you just gotta admire that don’t you.?

Now, that’s something I like to do, tell her how her charisma has an emotional impact on people. I am going to pause a second and savor that moment in my mind, because it ain’t goanna happen.

This women works at a local company and we as a Family have sent some money here and they have done all the work in our homes. For all I know this behavior is tolerated here and she can get away with it because, she might a lesser owner or a relative or just so dam good at her job, that being “crunchy” is part of the job description, maybe,……….its ,ok here.

I know the true owners have made a great effort to get the business built to a point where word of mouth is what keeps new clients going there and there field service guys are top shelf. So, I can’t imagine that this women is allowed to do this and not get herself fired.

There are three times that I called and asked for service and was insulted to a point where I did phone another provider and did use him. Just to be a jerk myself, I phoned and told the crunchy that I had found someone else and not for her to worry about it. She was thankful and hinted that the next time she could help.

So the question is what empowerment does she have that we all have to change direction into her schedule when we are the ones that are providing them with a meal ticket. The truth is that we are over a barrel and they know it and so a little attitude is given to show us we aren’t the only people out there.

I, am also thinking is it me?. Do I piss people off for no apparent reason, other than I ask a question?. Could be, but that is another story and I really will have to write that one up. I believe that once you have seen this person and heard her speak, you will know exactly what I am referring too!. You, get the impression her poop don’t stink.

Having said all that, in her defense ,she must be very efficient at her duties, in order for the company to prosper and be able to provide a level of service to a large customer base. Judging from the response she gives me, she must be the scheduler of all the work that is predetermined for the whole damn place etc. So, asking for a favor without proper waiting time. “Well ain’t happening”.

And I quote: “we aren’t going to keep a man waiting until you decide when you are hooking up your stove”. Excuse me, I am waiting for you to give me a time when he ain’t busy, remember!!!.

So, we are at her mercy and it is, what it is, so live with it or you have a choice to make!!. Do you have a “crunchy critter” in your life?. Write to me, love to hear about it.

If, by some strange coincidence, your are a “crunchy” and are reading this, don’t take offence, just because I didn’t use your name, does not mean that it didn’t happen!!. This would qualify as a “reality show”. If I have offend any of you in this story, too bad, get over it, I need a stove connected, anybody handy??.