We Need Another National Holiday!!

Do I need to say more??,yes just give a minute of your time.!!


All ain’t lost, we have the cave, we have snacks, we have beer, we have each other for company. Misery loves company and we don’t like been miserable.




So, after a few grunts and groans we have decided to “leaf the leafs for the season”. As the world turns so do we and we have to look forward to more games and pick and chose outré teams after each game finishes.



We are of the opinion now, that all that happens to the teams that will be in the play offs, will use the numbers below #8 as target practice.



Just as a herd is comprised by the weakest members, culling is necessary in order for the fit to continue and as cave men we are going to settle for nothing less than the best there is. Life isn’t fair and we didn’t plan it this way.



The team has shot its self in the skate and if there is any justice in the world, some of this team’s players, not mentioning any names, like “Paw-n-newt-left-feet” should be awarded assistance points in the others teams goals, as they did very little to defend the goalie.



Isn’t that your job to defend against the scoring of pucks into your own net?. From what we saw there was very little effort in that direction and we therefore wish to award demerit points in assistance to certain players on “the team”.



In fact they should be awarded ”hindrance points” as well. This would make their numbers very impressive indeed and the bean-counters would welcome the extra work.



Looks good on the résumé’ as well, most hindrance points awarded to a player whose team lost the most games in a season and never made it to the playoffs and that person will earn a Mc Bozo award for his lack of effort in earning this placement.



*do you follow what I am saying” if the foo-cares’ fuckers’ up enough times he gets rewarded in a way conducive to his efforts.”. Double dipping just like the crappies in the government get, what a life, eh??. He gets paid, even if he/they don’t perform or if he does, he can’t lose, just like “the burke”.



Carrying this idea forward we could have a new award given to the league as well and have it named after the most useless defense person of the league. I know I am treading on some very sacred ground, but hey its gotta be done.!! “Pap-Neff-pate' Memorial Plate”



The cave men will discuss this idea in some short beers and write our intentions to the “team” and let their PR department talk to our people and move this forward. Because this and the golf course is the thing that’s moving forward this year.



And they aren’t going to BE golfing, they are going to caddies or grounds keepers, they owe us our money back, you fat bustards. Amen.

*and if we have offended any bodies "feelers" we are sorry,but that is not our intent.
We have the right to be"pissed" and as such we are enpowered to spoff off as required.

So,no hard feelings and please"get over it". Amen,again.

Ansiedad - - for solo acoustic guitar

The Canadian Nature Photographer - photography articles, workshops, Photoshop online training, video

The Canadian Nature Photographer - photography articles, workshops, Photoshop online training, video

Daily Acceptance Prayer

Daily Acceptance Prayer

Watching a hockey game is the same to a man,as a Women watching Desperate Housewives.

Rumour; has it the

"Team"

is looking for any or all players that can

 look good in a certain uniform??

If they are able to skate and pass a puck,its a bonus.!!

My friend sent this to me to cheer me up,what a pal. ?? That's, what friends are for.!!
just when you thought you were down and up, a kind gesture.
Man, I am tooo lucky.

http://www.bergerbytes.ca/2012/03/starch-gone-from-leafs/

Yes, I know it’s a bold statement from a guy in a cave who only ventures out certain days to bring the beer, munchies and pepperettes essential for game watching. It’s a tough job but it can only be done by the caveman. This is my full time profession now.


And mind you it’s a long time to game time but there are chores to be done and things to get fixed, cleaned and stowed away. I know the wife and kids don’t understand the fuss but come game time all other activities cease to exist.


You have to put all your energy into the game and begin to cheer the home team even though they are down by 2 goals in the 1st period and its only been 10 minutes. That’s going to be a lot of hooting and hollering’ and cussing, clearly no place for decent folk.

And to keep order in the cave, only faithful people are invited that cheer the same team. The brother-in-law ain’t invited, even if he was the sole owner of the team in question.

During the intermission we regroup and diagram the next tactic, just like on survivor, we try and think out what the coach is thinking and you know he is way off when it comes to the game. His thoughts ain’t like ours, he must know something we don’t.

I, guess that’s my he gets paid the big bucks. So, as the game progress’s not so the cavemen. We seem to retreat back to guttural sounds and universal hand gestures just like other people at hockey games on TV, so are we replicating them or they copying us?.

As the game draws to a close, we are all washed-out, our emotions on a alcoholic high and if our team won or lost seems to be irrelevant now as they shuffle out the back door. The faithful mates pick them up and drag them home, with moans and groans of a game they can’t remember or care about until tomorrow.

Guess, what our team plays tomorrow.

Life is simple again and all is well, until my wife asks, “hey, what the hell do you jack ass’s do in that room of yours”?. The neighbors was asking about the funny noises.

I thought all them were in bed, after all it was after 8:00 o’clock??? And dark??. I guess someone opened the windows and doors, it was getting warm with all the gesticulating..

I, say if they asking questions, then they don’t support our team, and they don’t need to know and they should mind your own business and move along. Some things are best left alone especially, those ham-fisted cave people. Amen.

*this was written after a spirited game and as I was slipping into a malted beverage miasma as this thought occurred to me to write while I was still clairvoyant. Well, I did ??, so how did I do?

**our team got the shit beat outta them last night. Its was awful. It was so bad that the cave was the quietest its ever been and the consumption of beer was nil and those who drank theirs slowly it was like drinking donkey piss, it was that warm. Oh, yes a sad night. Amen,again.

***our team lost again to-night. We started to cheer for other team,no use crying in the beer any more.

Its clear as hell,our team is a practise team for other players to hone their skills.

You need to fire-up the whole team and start over, or is it fire the whole team and start over say with the Marlie's perhaps.. Amen.

So, from here on we have to choose Another team to cheer towards the cup and then follow hopefully a Canadian Team to bring the cup home.

if i have offended anyone with my rabble,please don't take it personally,I am miffed.

Do you want a drink of rum? the adventure continues Part 2.

Preamble: another true story from the far side. I was invited to visit my brothers-in-law aka: “duh dynamic duo” in the place called Needles CA near the Colorado River. The first adventure here for me was, I have been offered a cold beer and not getting one and instead I drank my own warm beer.

I have written about this in the blog so just look around and you will find it and when you have finished that story, this story will have the same background to it. I can’t speak for the “duo” but I am learning a lesson here, whatever its to be, maybe a mystery decoded in life.

* I have included this story (warm beer) at the end of this story,so you can read it here.So,maybe you should go ahead and get yourself a beverage and savour it as you read.

Personal opinion: there are unanswered questions in life that some people call mysteries and don’t think another thing about it. Later for some unknown raison d'être this mystery bites them in the ass and now the question arises w.t.f. is going on.

This episode in my life is one of those moments. I feel (unproven for now) that I did something to someone that was nasty and this ladies and gentlemen is payback time.

Of sure you say its not true, well you might be right but, I have evidence that to me, proves maybe shit happens for a reason as stated above. But, that is another story.

The warm beer experience is over and I promised, not to mention it again as long as I was there and I didn’t, but the consequence of that will be carried forward.

Later in the week, I go over again and we are going to see some sights and then we came back and had a spot of munchies, COLD BEER for me to start. Tell you what, that sure was good and it hit the spot as I smacked my lips and growled. (full moon in effect).

Do you want a drink of rum, I am hearing things, but I ask what’z dat you say?. Do you want a drink of rum, I have some here, yes sir, please that be mighty fine of you all. I get another beer, because guess what, “there ain’t no rum cumin’”.

It must be carry out or go git it yourself or you gotta go to the bar and order it and it gets delivered after you pay for it and leave a tip and forwarding address to get it. That, is about the same time it takes in a real bar I have found. How busy can it be?. My humble apologies to the maître d'hôtel diligent.

So, another beer is opened, these are my beers left here to chill, should I came by this way and want a drink. Still, no rum and I am offered it again and I say please and thank you, damn kind of you. I keep drinking the beer because the first rum ain’t showed up. I ain’t coming back to this bar any time soon.

But in the mean time a bottle of rye shows up and its offered around. No name that I can recall so I ask if I can sniff it and a small taste without mix first?. Its a nice auburn color and it pours neatly and its smell is like a vodka?. Well, the plus side its 3 years old and that seems to be good enough for some people.

Finished my beer and I get brave and say “ where is the that rum you all been offering”?. Reluctantly, it seems “the ½ of the duo” goes and brings it back and plunks in front of me. I guess I mix it up myself and slug away at it. No coke, just diet Pepsi, warm and ice cubes in the fridge, lumped together in a pile.


Yes, roughing it in a desert bar is sure an experience, I want to share anyone the wants to read it. My advice stick to the beer, drink with your back against the wall, your hand on your pistol and watch your horse. Amen.

The Warm Beer Story

Preamble:” This is a true story, because I was drinking warm beer and my brothers-in-law- seemed to think it was funny. ill humored….? I am writing because it is funny, no, I like to write.

Caution: what you are about to read is the truth,no names have been changed nor pictures altered and if I have made any errors, so, I didn't say I could write.!!.Its meant to be funny,so don't get your fur all up in curls,please,it makes you look funny. As I was saying,.....................> and one of the duo claims it wasn't him.???,ok lets say I believe you, but I am still writing the story.There is no shame in the truth.



I went to visit duh dynamic duo at their residence in Needles and arrived late, I was advised to provide my own beer? That’s what I think, because when I go there I can chill my beer and have a cold one of theirs.? Why, Don’t know, but keep reading, it gets better.


So, I go there and I am asked “would you like a cold beer” and I say yes, please, but no cold beer is forth coming. Piss on this and I get a warm one from my pack and begin to drink it because I am so dehydrated I can hardly croak. Maybe it was self serve? ,I, never asked, never mentioned.

Personal Opinion: consuming or any discussion of drinking beer warm should be illegal..!!” .




"yep,there they be."



I, do digress, sorry, Anyway I am almost finished that 1st beer and no cold beer in sight. I am thinking the dynamic duo are bona fide meat heads and are they playing hockey with my head. Or I am hearing things. So, again I opened another warm beer and begin to drink and you know this is starting to taste very good. It’s a taste that can grow on you…slowly.

* a recent hearing test has concluded that I am a good to go for a pair of matching hearing aids,as if I want to hear more shit that I ignore daily.( its thinking time).

And again I am asked, “would you like a cold beer and I say yes, please, as I sip the 2nd warm beer in my hands. It must be Groundhog Day in this place because I feel like an idiot and I still don’t have a cold beer to drink and its still been offered.. Must be the lukewarm beer, or an echo or delayed reaction.



Maybe it’s a self serve place. ,I, never asked, “holy”, I am starting to repeat myself, it must be ground hog day in play, this is too weird. I am losing it here, time to leave??. Two latté!.

I know this: I, don’t have a cold beer, I keep been asked if I want one?, I don’t get one.?. Area 51, alien invasion, or I am dreaming in California.? I, am really, really, hearing things.!

Conclusion: So, I, am to assume duh dynamic duo are dreadful hosts. Yes.

Also, will I just keep drinking the warm beer and enjoy the company of myself ?, Yes.

And will I go outside and have a piss in the bush and be done with it? Yes, of course, is the answer.

And, I could tell them from now on, you two guys will not be offered a cold or lukewarm beer in my home, Nada-beer!! ,unless you bring it yourself.?. Yes, sir,. The consequences.. that solves a lot of problems in my mind.



And, then I left, several beers there for them enjoy, warm of course and I took the rest back to my motel to cool off in my fridge and when I ask myself, hey, ” Bruce, would you like a cold one”, I can answer “yes” and get one or two whenever I want and no waiting or hassles!!.

p.s. I told them I would be writing about this,because you can tell them a mile away,but up close you can't tell anything.!!!!

Makes you value your cat more and more everyday,now don't it?? !! .

Stay tuned for more far sided adventures when I am asked, do I want a drink of rum............?? rum.