Mr. Crunchy,Adventures in the neighbor hood again!

Oct/04/2012: update,Mr.Crunchy,rises to the occassion.  To-day,the kids are outside playing and making noise, all of a sudden,I hear"shut the fuck up" and before I can get the boys to quiet down he says it again and this time the oldest says something rude back to him. Luckly he had slammed his door and didn't hear him.

To-days, episode is about the neighbor in the apt building yelling “shut up” out his window or door. It is about 10 minutes to eight o’clock AM, if you can believe it. And why is this person yelling you ask, well let me tell you.

Our kids get up between 6 and 6:30 am everyday, so there is a lot to get done before they catch the school bus. Sometimes, they get done early and get to play outside until the bus comes. If they play in the front yard its quieter than the back yard.

The back yard has a natural acoustic echo to it and if you talk loud enough aka “yelling” you get a 1.5% increase in your volume, amphitheatre or amplifier, sound pretty close. Put 3 kids playing soccer in the backyard, you can imagine, the sound level.(migraine)

The Crunchy, (its easy to earn this title from me),his bedroom faces the backyard which now is bombarded with noise in a full fledged soccer game going on with the 3 beavers.

The Crunchy, is a generic name that applies to either man or women. (as in this case, I am poetically, inclusive and politically correct?). So, should I use “they” in the description?.

He, she, they, must be retired, because why else would a person still be in bed, especially around here?. Well, the truth is they are all retired, with a few exceptions. I, presume it’s a “he”.

The noise level was a thing I was used too as I continued on the fixing up the back packs etc, until I heard this real loud “shut up”. Well, I think you could hear a pin drop. Kids run in and ask what the heck was that??. I, think it was a person that didn’t like the “sounds” of your game.

Well, it worked the boys didn’t want to go outside, until the bus came and were very quiet going to the road. Crunchy, thank you, you have saved the day and as your consequence you get this story splashed on my blog and someone will figure who you are.

Did I mention that it snows here, sometimes daily.? And, that the snowplow arrives between 6:30 and 7:00. A.M. And folks this not a quiet machine, especially when he drops the blade. It growls!.

I use to live near the tracks and I know what a locomotive working up speed sounds like, this is very comparable. And he has a yellow blinking light on top, a very large, bright, blinking light, really it flashes off and on, alternating, like a light house!.

A traveling caution signal light, so it is and don’t you know!. Maybe, when the kids came out, he had reached his “threshold of intolerance”!. Totally, another story in its self. But, I, do digress. Often and with out shame.!

Did, I also mention that are dogs in the hood as well. Yes sir, there are a collections from small sopranos, bulgy beagles to totally prominent Cujoe baritones. Can you all guess at what time these performers come to, too,…..pee?.

For the record they are largely quiet until their business is done and then they need to serenade us with the various tunes and songs they know so well!!. It ain’t quiet.!

And for what its worth, “you have my humble apologies I am sure”. Kids will be kids and even though they are ours, I do not apologize for their behavior, rather for your total lack of good manners. But, you wouldn’t see that way, now would you?., you all give “grouches” a bad name.

Thank you folks, stay tuned your true adventures from “the hood”. I ain't Judge Judy,so I don't care,well maybe a little bit.! No disclaimers: mostly true and enhanced for the public to enjoy.

The Crunchy Critter !!

Can you guess what they are saying?

The Crunchy Critter

As promised earlier I would write about this person, it’s a women and just for the records these types come in all sizes and species. Is, this politically correct, I have been known to offend these people that literally hang on each word and make issue of it…yes,.......... I am ok .

So a crunchy critter once identified no longer has a gender, because that’s is a moot point in my opinion. They will no doubt piss you off and that’s their job to do so and you are powerless in your quest to get service delivered to you in a friendly, timely, fashion from her, or them, anyway.

The only satisfaction you are going to get is, silently to yourself, curse her name and call her every name you can think of, to help you deal with the critter that she is. She can get you all revved up quicker than your wife in an argument. Now, you just gotta admire that don’t you.?

Now, that’s something I like to do, tell her how her charisma has an emotional impact on people. I am going to pause a second and savor that moment in my mind, because it ain’t goanna happen.

This women works at a local company and we as a Family have sent some money here and they have done all the work in our homes. For all I know this behavior is tolerated here and she can get away with it because, she might a lesser owner or a relative or just so dam good at her job, that being “crunchy” is part of the job description, maybe,……….its ,ok here.

I know the true owners have made a great effort to get the business built to a point where word of mouth is what keeps new clients going there and there field service guys are top shelf. So, I can’t imagine that this women is allowed to do this and not get herself fired.

There are three times that I called and asked for service and was insulted to a point where I did phone another provider and did use him. Just to be a jerk myself, I phoned and told the crunchy that I had found someone else and not for her to worry about it. She was thankful and hinted that the next time she could help.

So the question is what empowerment does she have that we all have to change direction into her schedule when we are the ones that are providing them with a meal ticket. The truth is that we are over a barrel and they know it and so a little attitude is given to show us we aren’t the only people out there.

I, am also thinking is it me?. Do I piss people off for no apparent reason, other than I ask a question?. Could be, but that is another story and I really will have to write that one up. I believe that once you have seen this person and heard her speak, you will know exactly what I am referring too!. You, get the impression her poop don’t stink.

Having said all that, in her defense ,she must be very efficient at her duties, in order for the company to prosper and be able to provide a level of service to a large customer base. Judging from the response she gives me, she must be the scheduler of all the work that is predetermined for the whole damn place etc. So, asking for a favor without proper waiting time. “Well ain’t happening”.

And I quote: “we aren’t going to keep a man waiting until you decide when you are hooking up your stove”. Excuse me, I am waiting for you to give me a time when he ain’t busy, remember!!!.

So, we are at her mercy and it is, what it is, so live with it or you have a choice to make!!. Do you have a “crunchy critter” in your life?. Write to me, love to hear about it.

If, by some strange coincidence, your are a “crunchy” and are reading this, don’t take offence, just because I didn’t use your name, does not mean that it didn’t happen!!. This would qualify as a “reality show”. If I have offend any of you in this story, too bad, get over it, I need a stove connected, anybody handy??.