Who touched and moved my stuff??.

Hi Joe;

It sure is nice to have the kids in school again, I can relax and my heart beating slowly and in sync with the earths rhythms. Its time for a another tea, green and dark, unsweetened, sounds healthy, with a sugar laden donut on the side.??. what, you gotta have sugar.

What, I want to ask you about today was, did your misses ever move or get rid of some of your stuff that you weren’t using and that was collecting dust, (in her opinion),BUT had a purpose unknown to her, but very crucial to you.??

I can’t prove it here but, I think there is some movement of said stuff that I don’t see any more or remember if I even had it, but I decided I needed to see it for comforts sake. This next line is significant , I think I am losing it..??.

“Its not important to some people, but to me, its very essential that I know this (location on my stuff) or otherwise I am losing my grip on the present situation, I am in and for all I know, I maybe, where I don’t want to be, but I am and I am not from here.”

Reread the above statement, until you get what I am getting at, you all !..,if I need to explain it, then…is there any hope for us Cavemen, ever.??( ok a hint, you leave your shit in a certain spot and when you go looking for it, IT should still be there, unless it was …...??) I, generally put it back when I am finished.

i.e., The other day I was looking a catalogue (reference, beyond question) from the hardware store which is still current to me even though its 2 years old. The only thing that changes is the prices but, otherwise all the stuff is the same. My misses decides this has dust on it and its old and it needs to go to recycling.

I have no problem with that, other than its my stuff that is moving. She cleans her reading material in the same frequency as she changes her mind and I am not in that category. I like to slaver, (drool over) that book and look at every page until I know where everything is.!! This folks, is a sign of mental power in the prime of life, or in plain words, an old guy drooling in a corner over a hardware store catalogue.

The question has arisen as to whether I do talk to myself during these periods in cloud nine. And that will remain just that a question without an answer. Hint; do not bother me when I am speaking.!! lols?.

So, I ask her, “dear did you see my catalogue from Home hardware” ??, without missing a beat she answers , “its old and I will get you a another because I am going up there to-day to look at some bricks.!!” Thank you, dear, that’s fine. Bricks, I did hear bricks and I not going to ask .!!.

If she says she is going to look at bricks, then bricks it is. Notice, here folks, that at no time did she mention she, threw my / our old book away or admit any such thing, BUT, said she would get me a new one instead.

If this isn’t the most diplomatic way of saying, “so you got me”, I don’t know what is.!! The power of words , have always amazed me and that’s why you need to be a trial lawyer, to read between the lines.!!.

So, anyway its back to work, the break is over and I just heard that the truck won’t start and somebody has to go somewhere right now. Can you call a taxi or is that too easy.?? . I love working under pressure, if its not worth doing ,then why do it.?? This will be another story. Bye for now.

p.s., it needs a new battery and can’t complain, its been in the truck for over 10 years, now where is the Interstate Battery catalogue??.., hello, dear, have you seen…..??

*Pacemakers should be set to the High-Medium range and in Auto-pilot mode.!!

And a oxygen tank on stand-by.

Take off your glasses, they will fog up.!!



You look at your catalogue and I will look at mine. The hardware store is at the back.

There will be a time when you gotta quit staring, you all will get dizzy, just saying.
Did you by any chance notice the skipping rope in her hands?.
Well, I am outta breath watching her.!!

The Boy Scout Rides Again, the stupid macaroon.!!

Hi Joe:

Well, we are fine and our kitten is now fixed so we won’t have to worry about more kittens. There are a few people that I have met, that the same thing should have happened to their parents. I know its nasty but you wonder wtf sometimes.

I gotta tell you this story about my supposed friend. Well, since this has happened I don’t think he is a friend, but, he is somebody I know. I asked if I could lend a hand helping him move some stuff into his new home and they said ok. Boy Scout rides again to another flaming adventure. What a macaroon.!!

I was planning to use my truck to help but it turns out there is 4 of us in a car and a trailer to move stuff. I was thinking this is going to be easy and I can be home early and do some stuff around the house. Well, it started that way and then the wheels came off the whole dam train. Somehow, We ended up moving 3 sets of appliances, fridge and stove from 3 locations??. As well or instead, I haven’t figured that one out yet.

So, let me tell you how this went. And for added suspense, the doors had to taken off the fridges because they were large or the door openings were too small and then reassembled again at the new locations. And in one case the house door was removed.

And from what I remember not much was really moved in the first place or maybe. * now pay close attention if you lose your “place” you will have to start over. And maybe you should reread, to grasp this moment, I didn’t believe it when I read it and I was there in person.!! It’s a true story, really, really.

* Having said that,I will remind you that this story has been embellished for dramatic's for your enjoyment.
You don't really think that could happen to a person, even he is a Boy Scout do you.??

Ready.?? Place #1, is the where all the stuff is leaving from, to go to place #2, the new place.

Place #3, is the place where the appliances went to from place # 2 and the appliances from place #3, went to place #1 and the appliances from place #1 went to place #2. And there is a place #4, keep reading.

And when the appliances from place #3 made it back to place #1, They came from place #4, to go to place #3 because we were getting new appliances and place #3, needed some because they just moved in some time ago and it was decided our stuff was better than what was there.. So, Did you get all that.??

Wait, wait, there was stuff moved, only I was not paying much attention and all I know is I was there until about 5 o’clock in the evening and all I had was 2 bottles of water. WTF you say??, yes this is what happened. I might have had a few candies.???, I don’t remember, it was a zen flash.

And when its all moved, then they said well lets eat and there wasn’t a thing started for supper and they were still thinking of what to have. 3 women were there most of the day, (place #2) and they were rearranging all that we had placed there in the first place. What, more places.??

So, if you are a smoker, you don’t get real hungry. But, if are a mean moving machine, I get real hungry. Bullshit to this, I am sorry I hear my mom calling and she says my supper is ready.!! And they still wanted me to stay and eat and I said no, I really have to go home.

And it was a warm day and I was wearing the coveralls made in 99% polyester and they were hot and I was steaming. At least somebody could had enough foresight to have some beverages and pizzas for us. Like a frosty, ice-cold, perspiring, freezing, beer for shits sake. With a thick rising crust with a cheesy surprise and double tinged basil sauces, portabella mushrooms ,red n green peppers, olives, bacon bits, is that too much to ask for???. NO.!!

So, when you get back home and think about all this will a cold one in your hand, all these random thoughts from the day coming crashing into my head and I say, hey there is a story here. Quick scribble it down. And of course I am shaking my head in wonder, WTF, where are some peoples heads.

So, you ask if I can help you move sometime, don’t be surprised if I say” no”, I am helping my mother with something, sorry.!!. all day and I am staying for supper and I am doing the dishes and then we are going to knit some socks.

See you, Joe.

I have a spare tire to fit a Mack truck!!

Hi Joe:
Just for the record please read the following before you go any further.

Summer officially kicks off today, with the summer solstice marking the longest day of the year on June 20, at least in the Northern Hemisphere. Yes, its July 16th. So what, write your own story.

This year's summer solstice takes place a day earlier than it's been for the past three years, due to the fact that leap year-day-February-29-calendar-cultures-science, 2012 is a leap year.

That will explain why my spring training has gone all to hell. I am trying to rejuvenate my self to the former glory I once was. Not that it matters but I need to explain it some how. Besides my age I am also fighting a friend called gravity. Its responsible for a lot of sagging parts, which I need to firm up.

Not a pretty picture is it. Don’t think anything other than loose fitting boxer shorts or else if you try to see a person in a swimmers Speedo, you will hurl your lunch. We now pause for that thought to work thru your system and wait to see if your food stays put. (30 seconds should be enough).

I have wanted to ride my “Beemer” for some time now and I need to get in shape to enjoy it more. This bike is meant for a younger body which will take the harsh ride and narrow seat. When I ride I am sure people must wonder why I have 2 sets of saddle bags on the bike. Serious rider with a lot of clothes?.

Walking and playing with the kids is low impact and not too bad, so I need to step it up a notch. I am using my son’s mountain bike with 18 gears in any fashion you want, from real slow to hard core. The seat is harder than the Beemer and it tests all my athletic parts, it needs a fatter seat, softer and wider-wider.

I went for a short ride and I was done, all body parts went on strike and I had to push the bike home for a block. I didn’t know so many parts could hurt at the same time. Going downhill is easy, up hill,.. not!!. To say I had an after glow after the pain went away would describe it right on the button.

Maybe a stationary bike and vibrating recliner would suit my purpose until I got up to speed. Too much hockey, malted beverages and those darn pepperettes. Man, tell you what I have a spare tire to fit a Mack truck. Time to lose that puppy.

All this exercise has made me tired, so bye for now Joe, its 9:30 am, in the cave and I hear my chair calling me. A short nap will help I am sure, unless the misses catches me and its over. Life is grand, ain’t it ?? .!!

 <><>

<><>

This is why you all, IS FAT!!



Women are in charge, not a question, but a statement !

Hi Joe;

Its sure is another hot one in the country today and tell you what I am outstanding in my field. Not, real good at what I do but, I am outside standing in the field, while the women folk are inside.

I don’t want to complain about this arrangement but sometimes it don’t seem fair and I mentioned that fact to the misses. Well, she says you know you are right, so, lets sit down and talk about it.

She says we both get up at the same time and she lists off she has to do before the kids get on the bus. So, far all I have to do is go to bathroom and have a coffee and sit down and try to wake up. I, mentioned I would like to help with some of those chores.?

Well, help I, did do, was not up to equality of the misses and she said I move too slow. I said I had all day to work and do stuff, so what’s the hurry?. Well, that maybe so, but the kids have to leave in an ½ hour, so move it!!!. I, tried to do as she asked and then I was asked to sit down and get outta the way.??.

So, I tried this for the next hour and you know she left me outstanding in the field where I started from. So, I decided its fair that she be inside and I can manage outside, only I am going to move a little quicker so I can have a break on time.

The critters all seem to be fine with my time schedule and as far as I know none of then were complaining. So, if they were, it just sounded like they were saying hello and hurry up with food. I, think I will get one of the kids to help me, might go quicker.

Because, they have the same problem as I do, we are in the way and we are asked to get outta of the kitchen. When she gets rolling in there its like a “flying ninja with the Ganske razor-sharp knifes” making up stir fried sushi and egg omelets and I don’t know where the extra arms come from either.

So, yes if you are in the way you might end up as part of the main course or become slightly injured with a wallop up side of your head. Boys, come with your poppa, its safer over here and we can finish the chores too.

Well, looks like its time for some breakfast, and its only 6:45 a.m., so Joe how’s your day??.

Write to you all later, say hi to your misses.

Bruce

Did our Aunt Flo leave a recipe book or box?.

Dear Joe:

Do you remember the last letter I wrote to you about the essences of food making me move my mind and I am sure the body did follow, to a different time and place? Well, as I was returning from this place I had another thought pop into my head.

Well, again it’s to do with food and more seriously it is to do with the people that have passed on and what did they leave behind for us as memories? What, I mean is did our Aunt Flo leave a recipe book or box and did by some chance it got willed to one of us?

I know you are laughing about this right now and wondering what a nut bar I must be, but I am very serious about this! If you get a chance phone up and find out will you please?

In my last letter I was writing about the very nice memories our Aunts food that I was getting reoccurring flash backs and how are we going to keep her memory alive if not thru her food recipes. That was my intent, even though I didn’t say it in that many words.

You know at every family gathering and picnic we always looked forward to Aunts Flo’s secret (how come they taste so good, oh it’s a secret and I should have asked more questions) and delicious sandwiches which all just could not get enough of this the stuff I am talking about, and by now your lights have come on and you are saying what a genies ass I am.

So, to finish my thoughts on this, just so you know that this important for all of us to carry on, we have to treasure and preserve these foods for our own grand kids. Yes, I know they may not give a dam, but once they taste them sweet little sandwiches, they are going to be hooked.

So, it is our duty or our replacements, which will no doubt be easy to find, to carry on this work and make sure that those foods are presented to all of us that show up at the Family reunions. So, you have noticed that the attendance is down this year or we are having too many reunions; I believe that these foods from Aunt Flos recipes will draw them back.

So, Joe is you up for the challenge or what? I will help and test drive those sandwiches to make sure they are made just right, because we have a lot riding on this recipe. As I have said it is up to us to inform and teach those young ums all about the past of their heritage and especially the food recipes, which made them the people they are to-day.

Yep, I can see it all now, one bite and we will be mobbed and soon we will have to sell those recipes to them as long as they are kin of course, no interlopers, that’s for sure. Joe, its time for us to act, the talking is over with are you with me or not?

Aunts Flo’s secret sandwiches.

Write to you all real soon,

Love youse all

Bruce

duh, Cavemen are all well #2

Dear Joe;


Just to let you know the Cavemen are all well since, “duh Leafs” had decided to go out early and start to work at greener pastures such as the garden centers and golf greens to pay back the ticket purchases we spent on their dismal performance this year. I, thought I saw a few in the Russian minor leagues.


Since, we have started this petition we have noticed other people want to do the same and its even reached the national news. We plan to keep it small and just be a nuisance, the club until they pay up or promise to give us seats for the next season. Fat chance, of that happening, but we are persistent and we will see what happens.


What’s the worst that could happen, we get a restraining order and we counter with a “are we bothering you order” and continue as usual. I, am sure they would rather pay up and be rid of us because you know those newspaper capitalist’s are just looking for some stuff to print.


We have offered up the names of certain players to the “Glo in the Dark,carpet bowling league” in case they are in need of caddies. I, don’t if that’s what they call them, but sure beats been called a ball n pin chaser. Whatever, we will have to come up with a name just for those sports.


Our team did not qualify this year, too “many young guys” and we could have made it, if we traded off a few of us, but that’s not the point. We worked and trained all winter to be who we are and be dammed if a under age rule is going to bust up the team.

Maybe we can play “slow pitch” and in this league, performance counts a little but it’s the fun of been part of a group that enjoys fair play and malted beverages, all in reason. Most of us will qualify and even get a “seniors discount” if there is enough of us.

I love baseball, “its bin, very, very, goud to me”. Later Joe, I hear the love of my life calling and it ain’t dinner time, so it must back to work time.



Did,someone say "carpet"?

 p.s. still watching Hockey, life is grand, we don’t care who wins, because they deserve it,then we can switch to Carpet Bowling League Finals aka "Clean Sweep".

“Sears Catalogue Man”.

SPECIAL DELIVERY: I am the Sears Catalogue Man.


Have I got your attention now?. No, I am not the Sears model with the left hand in his pocket and joyful and debonair white toothy smile showing off the suit of the month. I, am the end of the chain in the marketing world, I deliver the catalog to your door.

And the end result of the high priced help, cascades to me, a lowly paid, bookie, who delivers to the door step or mail box. Rain, sheet or sleet or snow will not deter me, why you ask, because, I won’t go out and drop them off unless it’s SUNNY!. The only weak link has shown its self. Its me.

To tell the truth, the longer you procrastinate about doing the job, the more you have to do to meet the dead line of when these books are to be delivered. So, a sunny day is bonus but I will deliver them no matter the weather.

Cooked like a dinner or frozen like a popsicle. I was going to say like a bed sheet, those were the days when the clothes were hung outside, no matter the weather and then brought in, stiff as a board. So, you know, I am as old as dirt. There is nothing like a fresh frozen sheet!!.

So, far I have only been bitten by one dog, whom got away from his master, a very petite lady, who was knocked off her feet and dragged a few more feet until he met me, with his teeth in my upper thigh region. It was a big son of a bitch, a beast n small bear mix. :"Cujoe"

Lucky, for me I had the Christmas Wish book in my hand and he got to read it before the household did. All, 873 pages including the plastic cover were given to him in quick blow to the nose. Now, that’s what I call “speed reading”. My pride was more offended than the bite, but it still left a bruise where he made contact. The book deflected most of the energy from me.Saved by Sears.

Across the street, another lady is walking her dog and pissing herself laughing as she was a witness to the “dancing bear n catalog guy” going at it. I don’t remember everything. I am sure the noise level for a short time was exceedingly loud. Feet’s don’t fail we now.! Exit, stage left!.

Whistle, while you work has a new meaning to me now. So, whenever I approach this house I do give a wolf whistle to see if the “Cujoe” is in the yard. If he is near, I disappear, once bite, twice shy, another mystery cleared up about where that saying came from. The things you do for a dime!!. There are some friendly dogs out there, but not all on my route.

Stay tuned, I be writing about the other adventures as they happen to the “Sears Catalogue Man”.

In reply to your request !

After all that research it is no doubt you wished to paid.

A letter to a friend in Ireland,whose fancy it is to write letters of wit and which I relied in all due haste.

Dear Sir:

In reply to your request for payment,I wish to inform you that the present condition of my bank account makes it almost impossible.

My shattered financial condition is due to federal laws,provincial laws,county laws,village laws,brother-in-laws,sister-in-laws, and out-laws.

Through these laws I am compelled to pay income tax,property tax,business tax,amusement tax,head tax,cosmetic tax,tobacco tax,alcohol tax,gas tax,inheritance tax,food tax,light tax,excise tax,car tax,garbage tax,water tax,sewer tax,telephone tax,sales tax,transportation tax,and the hidden tax.

I am also required to contribute to every charity,society, or organization which the genius man is capable of bringing to life;to the hospital expansion,to minor hockey,to figure skating,to senior hockey,to the curling fund,to the United Fund,to the Centennial Fund,to the Red Cross,the White Cross,the Blue Cross,.the Purple Cross,and the Double Cross.

For my own safety I am required to carry life insurance,health insurance,accident insurance,fire insurance,property insurance,liability insurance,earthquake insurance,tornado insurance,old age insurance,and unemployment insurance.

My business is so governed that it is no easy matter to find out who owns it. I am inspected,expected,suspected,disrespected,rejected,dejected,examined,re-examined,required,summoned,fined,commandes,and compelled,until I provide an inexhaustible supply of money,for every known need,desire, and hope of the human race.

Simply because I refuse to donate to something or other I am boycotted,talked,lied about,held up held down and robbed until I am almost ruined.


I can tell you honestly that expect for a miracle that happened,I could not enclose this cheque for payment.The wolf that comes to the my door nowadays just had pups in my kitchen. I sold the pups and her is the money.

Now Ian what were you saying about your black socks??.

Your sheppen shearer from over ohm
Bruce

A letter to the lender

After all that research it is no doubt you wished to paid.

Dear Sir:
In reply to your request for payment,I wish to inform you that the present condition of my bank account makes it almost impossible.

My shattered financial condition is due to federal laws,provincial laws,county laws,village laws,brother-in-laws,sister-in-laws, and out-laws.

Through these laws I am compelled to pay income tax,property tax,business tax,amusement tax,head tax,cosmetic tax,tobacco tax,alcohol tax,gas tax,inheritance tax,food tax,light tax,excise tax,car tax,garbage tax,water tax,sewer tax,telephone tax,sales tax,transportation tax,and the hidden tax.

I am also required to contribute to every charity,society, or organization which the genius man is capable of bringing to life;to the hospital expansion,to minor hockey,to figure skating,to senior hockey,to the curling fund,to the United Fund,to the Centennial Fund,to the Red Cross,the White Cross,the Blue Cross,.the Purple Cross,and the Double Cross.

For my own safety I am required to carry life insurance,health insurance,accident insurance,fire insurance,property insurance,liability insurance,earthquake insurance,tornado insurance,old age insurance,and unemployment insurance.

My business is so governed that it is no easy matter to find out who owns it. I am inspected,expected,suspected,disrespected,rejected,dejected,examined,re-examined,required,summoned,fined,commanded,and compelled,until I provide an inexhaustible supply of money,for every known need,desire, and hope of the human race.

Simply because I refuse to donate to something or other I am boycotted,talked,lied about,held up held down and robbed until I am almost ruined.


I can tell you honestly that expect for a miracle that happened,I could not enclose this cheque for payment.The wolf that comes to the my door nowadays just had pups in my kitchen. I sold the pups and her is the money.

Now Ian what were you saying about your black socks??.

Your sheppen shearer from over ohm
Bruce

PS one day I will write you a serious note,perhaps and perhaps not.

A letter to Pat (wtf is this all about?)

Wednesday, November 30, 2005,
The date of inspiration and application.Yes,another real letter to a friend of mine that is mostly corny humor.I was under the influence of a malted beverage,several.

Folks,if after reading this and maybe several times more,you don't know wtf is going on,then guess what,you didn't need to know in the first place,you nosey fat bastard!!.That, will describe almost everybody,aren't words wonderfull?.

Dear Pat:

What do you get for a man that has most everything technical in toys, to express gratitude for friendship and methodological help with the far side of computers? A, gift that will be a useful thing, yet natural enough to entertain your very exceptional inquisitiveness as well.

To choose something that brings us back to an era when we had no such thing as computers and we were encouraged to use our minds to solve the simplest math to the most challenging phasing of atomic matter on paper. Let me ramble on and perhaps I can describe how I chose to get this gift for you.

Get a drink and sit down in a cosy chair, this might take a while or not, depends on fast you read this letter. The purpose is to inform you of trivial stuff and useless information that for some reason we may require it to answer a question in the future, like in a game of Trivial Pursuit, perhaps.

Well, Pat you know you have dazzled me and numerous others with your intelligence and very exceptional observations of life in this region of little variation (which means you may be not from here after all, It has been written and confirmed so, therefore its…true).

Does the name W-O-O-D-F-O-R-D sound familiar? An, area known for, small burning bushes for some apparent reason.

Listen, if at any time, you feel over whelmed, you can put this down and read it later, and if you’re not too busy perhaps the subtle and coy nuisances will unravel themselves to you, like in the prisoner of Azkaban or not.

Sorry, I digress ,You are no doubt aware that we (you and I) are a real pair of unique people that have exposed many subjects on the earth and examined the mysterious space dimension beyond our sight, but not our minds.

For example:, analog to digital conversions, time warps, theory of family relativity, and scientific best guess, such as water into wine and finally explanations of hi tech science too often opaque elsewhere, like the internet and the speed of light.(where did the time go?)

We have drunk the golden nectar from the Gods that have provided our minds eye with a clear vision and deep understanding, making us one with the universe, mostly when we are in the zone of mind melding, reformatting a hard drive, or simply sharing malted beverages, is there any difference of opinion?, I don’t think so, save your breath.

You have a far side to you, Jon Luc Pate`. Know yourself well; be one within, listen and the forces that bewitch you, it’s like having an epiphany, like the one that struck me as I write this elemental letter.

This came so logically to me the words just flowed to the page and I had to laugh as I could see your face and you would be thinking, holy shit, the Zbig has really lost it this time. Read on.

You are sensitive about the fact that there is so little material to challenge your psyche and character and I have listened and thought what the hell I am I going to do to solve this problem?. I have asked and received this knowledge in a stroke. I must have recovered because I am still here;

Anyway I have sought out this question and began my hunt in earnest to bring you a challenge worthy of your self-ness. Then I remembered you mention the Mensa Test, hence, something of incalculable knowledge to be read well and see the way of the force. Simple, yet satisfying.

Listen, if at any time, you feel over whelmed, you can put this down.


But, first, some vital stuff to be familiar with, as you know, you disregard it instantaneously.
*This, is factual and hopeless, too many addictives in the beer, again. That explains a lot now, dough nut, why we get impulsive and rampant at the mouth at times.

*Scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 12 men 12 pints of beer each and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn't drive. No further testing is planned.

Sorry, I digress, you might feel like reading this again, you may, nose` a problemo` signor`. Do it, the truth will set you free, find out who-you-are Jock-u-lair. By now you are wondering dozen this person have too much time on his hands?

The answer is a maybe, so what, time has no relevance to the length of the subject written, discussed or disused, and why computers came to be transporters to the far side, remember Bill Gates, Jon luc? He had too much time on his hands and look where it got him.

The best answer is to experiment on your self, Pat and find out. What are my genuine limits, do I need to know, does any one else need to know, does this mean that I am as smart as I am or am I smarter than I was or in fact was I smarter to begin with, am I the product of my colon-iz-ation or the sum of all my fears OR, is some nuc-kow-ski freakin` body playing hockey with my head, man?.

Listen, if at any time, you feel over whelmed.

I found this item and my sincere thinking is that this will challenge your mind and give it the exercise it deserves. And you can’t judge a book by its cover, rather by what is contained within, so I hear.

Please translate the introduction carefully, it gives clues to many of the answers and don’t be afraid about feeling like an old kid, because you recognize age knows no genius.

Consequently, no genius knows his age, only his strengths, are you getting this ok? You can walk away if want, I guarantee not to tell any one, nothing about nothing ,it never happened, this communiqué will burn up in 30 seconds anyway.

However, if you decide otherwise, please enjoy and I can assist you with this task, I could consider this an honour and duty to help you all full fill your density. (In other words 2b as thick as a brick)

Thank you fur your in-dull-gents on this matter, may all the orifices bewitch you, Jon Luc Pate`

Your unassuming, modest, humble, indefatigable, multipurpose, petulant and steadfast servant and having said that, I rest myself and you say what??

(canuunderstandanyofthis) Listen

Zee-big`-e-`nuff`-fur- u?