Why don’t I write to paper anymore?

Bob is a long time acquaintance from our former glory days of youth. We have known and wizened ourselves from the school of Hard Knocks n Bumps, our diplomas of merit are near??. He looks like a professor of Diplomas etuis’ Emeritus quo sancta humanae and speaks as such..


My Friend Bob asked me one day why don’t I write to paper anymore. Bob, I, said, its like this, there is so much to write about that the local paper scarcely does its job as it is. For me to write them and criticize or inform them of the social injustices that be fall us would be over whelming. We both can articulate on anything from the idiots on council, the overpriced rec centre, the wasted treatment plant, to the mundane.


But, you can’t write about it as the newspaper and the city hall siesta together and indeed make strange bed fellows and that’s is all that I am going to say, unless asked for further opinions. The audacious squeaks that emit when THEY walk are not from their shoes.(in my humble opinion).


That’s why THEY have to censor most of the news that is local to us readers. THEY in fact don’t care about too much what happens in the community as long as its big news. For example the” exclusion of the Lord’s Pray at council meetings”, maybe. To me that should have had more coverage than it did.


You can blame the people that don’t care as long as THEIR right to know what is going on is expressed in a clear and transparent manner. What bullshit, the government of the day can’t do that and we the little people demand this of our city bureaucrats. Hey-now, social equality lives.!, so it does.

(their are numerous idiot’s on council, but one female in particular which is anti-creed),thought it was “exclusive” of certain peoples rights to say a opening prayer. Well, THESE people didn’t care one way or the other, THEY never mentioned it.

 Having nothing more intelligent to do with THEIR time, THEY decided to jump on the “spiritual” bandwagon and make a commotion.(two of a kind spells danger.)

I offer no apology towards this person because she is just doing her job and I am doing mine, madam, you are an idiot, the best I have ever seen. You are a “LULU”. Your justification for intelligence escapes me. Bullshit will baffle brains and common sense, when applied in a substantial portion of deceitfulness.


There was so much to do about this that even writing and asking to reconsider was considered as an act of defiance, I just want the prayer to be said as usual and THOSE whom are insulted can leave and return when it’s over. Hell, if you went to THOSE other spiritual places do you think THEY quit saying their prayers because you all were “exclusive” , hell no,!! either like it or get outta de mosque.

Well, you know the results, the idiots have caved in, to the other idiots all in the name of being political correct, bullshit again. And if you dare raise this subject, all the prime and proper, get pissed.


Folks, my mother-in-law, Summed this best “its all going to hell in a hand basket”. All the people that made this country what it is, must be turning in their graves, because of so called intelligent people. The reason you were elected to office is, a better chance of us , to “tar n feather” if you did a piss poor job.


Did I mention that I wasn’t from here.!!? This is why Bob, I don’t write to the paper.!!, THEY, can’t print this. This is too, exclusive.!! As I am only picking on one or two idiots, better I slander the whole council and make it worth my while, maybe fresh fodder for the newspaper.



Your friend in your debt, lets us pray,

May the idiots we entrusted power to, may they see the errors of their ways and when it comes to elect them again, I won’t . Amen.

And no, folks, I am not a red necked bigot, in case you were wondering, and I did mention that I wasn’t from here. And to close, if this has offended anyone, if any of you (aka THEY) resemble the said subjects of my rant, I am apologetic, the truth bites just as sure as a junkyard dog at midnight.

Good nite Bob,



Its frosting some people.



True story , I am not, Judge Judy, folks !.

Hi Joe and Family:

Trusting this finds you well and well steeped in the Christmas preparations. With the kids, it’s the school plays and Claus parades and we have many lights in our town. True story, again and it involves my kid and the privileged delinquent next door. Looking for mischief.(rumour has it, he maybe moving in the near future, on the far side of town, even rougher out there.).

With the fresh snow fall comes fresh problems. The younger kids make little forts and snow people political correctness??. Hell, it’s a snowman., Merry Christmas, Good tidings and good will to you and Happy New Year.

When ,I said Merry Christmas to “peter da meter reader”, what did he say, ”back at you”, wtf, I said to him and I ranted for 30 seconds and I said the next time he steps on the property, the Ninja Cat has his name. No mercy, none. “is that back at you enough for you” ?.,butt head..

Did I digress?, the older kids, the imbeciles, stupid-mutts, wreck havoc on the little guys creations. Across the street is the former neighbour family, why, because one of my kids, an older one, with a big oral cavity said for her to “go to hell and mind her own business”, opus, not what to say to a mom in front of her little kids and …!!.
.
Well, in the real world, this could been handled right there on the spot. Now, with the political awareness group, it’s a fiasco. This lady comes over a blaring, yelling, turning blue and exhaling all over ,even I, Zbig-e-nuff, the biker was afraid. It was a honest rant.

“Yes, I know, but I ain’t Judge Judy, it happened over there. You handle it, write a letter to editor, don’t yell at me, its not polite, you offend me, I have rights too.! Yes, they are my kids, “make them beha

Make them behave,sure,whatever you want.!

ve”?. Look whom is speaking, yelling at the top of your voice, wanting to inflict physical damage to a certain person.??” Finger pointing and arms flailing.?? Yes, very dramatic.

“Make them behave”, Are you really, really pissed off, please call the police. Press charges, get your name on the record. Go to hell,??, Then,. please send them home And fret not.(Judge Judy says so).

Whatz, up??. Short story, the kids are not allowed to play over there……ever.!! Any toys we left over there were promptly returned. So, that’s where that went.!!. Her husband comes over and mumbles, sorry,??, no its me that’s sorry, my younger kid like to play there. NO, more kids playing with my kids, please.!! We shake hands. DONE.!!.

Since this happened, her kids are no longer visible nor can I hear them playing outside. She must be tres’ pissed,. My kids still play outside but not near the “high voltage compound”, stay away OR ELSE.

Gotta go, the washer has buzzed, the sheets are done, time for the dryer. Housework, bah, humbug.!!

Seasons Greetings to you all politically correctness bunch and A Very Merry Christmas to the rest of you all. They have taken many things away from our core values, saying a prayer before meetings, singing God save The Queen and now messing with the Christmas spirit of people. Whose rights are being offended, non believers or the ones that still hold onto traditions steeped in our pioneer fabric.

If was good enough for them, its ok with me too.!!

The Boy Scout Rides Again, the stupid macaroon.!!

Hi Joe:

Well, we are fine and our kitten is now fixed so we won’t have to worry about more kittens. There are a few people that I have met, that the same thing should have happened to their parents. I know its nasty but you wonder wtf sometimes.

I gotta tell you this story about my supposed friend. Well, since this has happened I don’t think he is a friend, but, he is somebody I know. I asked if I could lend a hand helping him move some stuff into his new home and they said ok. Boy Scout rides again to another flaming adventure. What a macaroon.!!

I was planning to use my truck to help but it turns out there is 4 of us in a car and a trailer to move stuff. I was thinking this is going to be easy and I can be home early and do some stuff around the house. Well, it started that way and then the wheels came off the whole dam train. Somehow, We ended up moving 3 sets of appliances, fridge and stove from 3 locations??. As well or instead, I haven’t figured that one out yet.

So, let me tell you how this went. And for added suspense, the doors had to taken off the fridges because they were large or the door openings were too small and then reassembled again at the new locations. And in one case the house door was removed.

And from what I remember not much was really moved in the first place or maybe. * now pay close attention if you lose your “place” you will have to start over. And maybe you should reread, to grasp this moment, I didn’t believe it when I read it and I was there in person.!! It’s a true story, really, really.

* Having said that,I will remind you that this story has been embellished for dramatic's for your enjoyment.
You don't really think that could happen to a person, even he is a Boy Scout do you.??

Ready.?? Place #1, is the where all the stuff is leaving from, to go to place #2, the new place.

Place #3, is the place where the appliances went to from place # 2 and the appliances from place #3, went to place #1 and the appliances from place #1 went to place #2. And there is a place #4, keep reading.

And when the appliances from place #3 made it back to place #1, They came from place #4, to go to place #3 because we were getting new appliances and place #3, needed some because they just moved in some time ago and it was decided our stuff was better than what was there.. So, Did you get all that.??

Wait, wait, there was stuff moved, only I was not paying much attention and all I know is I was there until about 5 o’clock in the evening and all I had was 2 bottles of water. WTF you say??, yes this is what happened. I might have had a few candies.???, I don’t remember, it was a zen flash.

And when its all moved, then they said well lets eat and there wasn’t a thing started for supper and they were still thinking of what to have. 3 women were there most of the day, (place #2) and they were rearranging all that we had placed there in the first place. What, more places.??

So, if you are a smoker, you don’t get real hungry. But, if are a mean moving machine, I get real hungry. Bullshit to this, I am sorry I hear my mom calling and she says my supper is ready.!! And they still wanted me to stay and eat and I said no, I really have to go home.

And it was a warm day and I was wearing the coveralls made in 99% polyester and they were hot and I was steaming. At least somebody could had enough foresight to have some beverages and pizzas for us. Like a frosty, ice-cold, perspiring, freezing, beer for shits sake. With a thick rising crust with a cheesy surprise and double tinged basil sauces, portabella mushrooms ,red n green peppers, olives, bacon bits, is that too much to ask for???. NO.!!

So, when you get back home and think about all this will a cold one in your hand, all these random thoughts from the day coming crashing into my head and I say, hey there is a story here. Quick scribble it down. And of course I am shaking my head in wonder, WTF, where are some peoples heads.

So, you ask if I can help you move sometime, don’t be surprised if I say” no”, I am helping my mother with something, sorry.!!. all day and I am staying for supper and I am doing the dishes and then we are going to knit some socks.

See you, Joe.

Summer Adventures in the Hood.

Its been a while since the last episode of neighbor hood kids getting mean with each other and now that school is out that changes the dynamics a little bit. This kids now need to find more things to do that are constructive because the destructive is already in play. If one doesn’t think of it the other surely does.

The few that are sent to day camps are well cared for and if they all play together things work well or otherwise they get sent home early. If they continue to act out enough they get uninvited for the rest of the camp and become a pest at home.

Well, there are two little guys, well 11 and 12 yrs old isn’t little, but the brain power sure is. They were caught doing damage to properties and taking turns in out doing each other in their challenges. The last straw was a assault on two smaller kids with threats and actually knocking them off their bikes.

The parents were quick to fix things but the promise of “law enforcement action” was loudly stated and implied to each of the boys. Only one was given his just desserts and the other got away scott free. And to keep them apart is going to be a chore since both seem to ignore our instructions in this manner.

The scott free kid has no discipline at home or suffers no consequences, so he is disadvantaged by his parent whom can’t do anything with him, he also swears enough to make me blush and at times its directed at adults. Old school, would be the “wood shed”, should we be bringing these buildings back??.

So, if they (parents) call the police, it will be outta of our hands and then its off to the “juvenile hall” to let them deal with it. I prefer to send both of them to a “friendly boot camp” where you work to eat and you eat to work for a time until you understand you are a nasty and need to pull up your socks. Some where in this place you have to shovel “horse shit”, exercise, leadership and education is provided. FREE!!.

There is nothing like mucking out a stall, you throw your weight in horse shit all day. And guess what tomorrow you get to do this again. You start to get an appreciation of nature at work. How can a horse produce so much shit and he doesn’t really do anything in return.??, by now the reality is sinking in.!!

At the moment our society is leery on doing this because of the age of the kids and other problems on being inclusive or exclusive. You can’t be sugar coating this, “they are little criminals ” unless you intervene you have failed your child and yourself. Little Johnny “ain’t cute anymore”. But, in real life this corrective society exists and it does help the ones that want to free themselves of self destructive behaviors.

Tough love is ok folks, somebody benefits, remember its for their good. Beat your chest and cry, but please get over it. Funny thing is; behind our backs the kids play together and have fun and the parents are still pissed off about it, but its not clear why or at whom???. That is really extraordinary.

So, this begs the question, whom is the fool here.??

I have a spare tire to fit a Mack truck!!

Hi Joe:
Just for the record please read the following before you go any further.

Summer officially kicks off today, with the summer solstice marking the longest day of the year on June 20, at least in the Northern Hemisphere. Yes, its July 16th. So what, write your own story.

This year's summer solstice takes place a day earlier than it's been for the past three years, due to the fact that leap year-day-February-29-calendar-cultures-science, 2012 is a leap year.

That will explain why my spring training has gone all to hell. I am trying to rejuvenate my self to the former glory I once was. Not that it matters but I need to explain it some how. Besides my age I am also fighting a friend called gravity. Its responsible for a lot of sagging parts, which I need to firm up.

Not a pretty picture is it. Don’t think anything other than loose fitting boxer shorts or else if you try to see a person in a swimmers Speedo, you will hurl your lunch. We now pause for that thought to work thru your system and wait to see if your food stays put. (30 seconds should be enough).

I have wanted to ride my “Beemer” for some time now and I need to get in shape to enjoy it more. This bike is meant for a younger body which will take the harsh ride and narrow seat. When I ride I am sure people must wonder why I have 2 sets of saddle bags on the bike. Serious rider with a lot of clothes?.

Walking and playing with the kids is low impact and not too bad, so I need to step it up a notch. I am using my son’s mountain bike with 18 gears in any fashion you want, from real slow to hard core. The seat is harder than the Beemer and it tests all my athletic parts, it needs a fatter seat, softer and wider-wider.

I went for a short ride and I was done, all body parts went on strike and I had to push the bike home for a block. I didn’t know so many parts could hurt at the same time. Going downhill is easy, up hill,.. not!!. To say I had an after glow after the pain went away would describe it right on the button.

Maybe a stationary bike and vibrating recliner would suit my purpose until I got up to speed. Too much hockey, malted beverages and those darn pepperettes. Man, tell you what I have a spare tire to fit a Mack truck. Time to lose that puppy.

All this exercise has made me tired, so bye for now Joe, its 9:30 am, in the cave and I hear my chair calling me. A short nap will help I am sure, unless the misses catches me and its over. Life is grand, ain’t it ?? .!!

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This is why you all, IS FAT!!



Reality check: When the power grid goes down, all grid-tie solar systems will go down with it

Reality check: When the power grid goes down, all grid-tie solar systems will go down with it

Oh, say can you see, by the mornings first light??

Well,so much for intelligent safe guards, if you have a stand alone gas generator at least you have an option??.

Freedom of choices come with a price tag.

I want to rant about duh guy with the leaf blower.

Adventures in the Hood

To-day, I want to rant about duh guy with the leaf blower. As I have mentioned before we moved next door to a apartment building which has a mixture of young and mature tenants.

This building has had its share of owners of the years and when they change so do the people that care for the grounds outside. Friends of friends or relatives or even the owners themselves work at the building. Its all good for the appearances of the building.

Well, this guy whom I haven’t seen before, but I am sure I will find out more later about this guy. Each spring there is debris from the trees and leafs and dirt and generally some schmuck. And it has to be cleaned away and removed.

This year a leaf blower is been used as well as raking and bagging the stuff. So, the man starts to blowing the leaves around and they are all going into my yard near the fence. I have raked all the old leaves away all ready and I had a clean yard.

Along with the leaves he moving stones and quarter sized peddles into my yard as well. ”wtf”, I mutter, to myself is this meathead DOING?. He Is A Happy Little Shit Just Doing His Stuff And Near By Are My Boys Playing. “Time Out”.!!!!

Stop, I gesture, just like in the hockey game with the middle finger in the air, I think that’s the one we use. It is performed by showing the back of a closed fist that has only the middle finger extended upwards,either hand or both, if you are totally pissed. A Game Face is helpful.

He does and I ask what should I do with “his leafs” in my yard. Oh, I will blow them and rake them up and take them away, he says.

No, pal, just rake, no more blower, please or else, you will have a new “propulsion system” in /up your butt. All is well ??. Until the next time, when he cuts the grass and needs to blow the clippings somewhere, can you guess where??.........hum, is this a trick question.? !!

* Duh Rant: We know these days that each and every purchase we make requires some thought, but a leaf blower purchase merits real study of both your needs and of the models that exist on the market. Knowing where to blow the said “leafs” is also a essential lesson in management.

Each category of blower possesses characteristics ranging from power sources and performance, ease of use and accessories, weight and price. Buying the wrong machine can be frustrating… and having a stupid operator is dam annoying…… so don’t get blown away!

Been a meat head is not a requirement, but it helps to know what the hell you are doing. These dim-witted foo-cares should get a permit to operate the machines. Just because the lights are on, don’t mean there is somebody home. I think the hardware store should do a appraisal of certain customers before selling this kind of stuff. And refuse to sell to them, if they fail.!!!!!!!, let Wal-Mart and Canadian Tire do that.

Of, course you say that’s discrimination, .no folks, we are life-saving. First, you save the operator’s life 2nd, you save other peoples life in the hood and 3rd lee, you save a lot of naive bystanders that don’t know this person is a bozo and willingly stand in harms way to observe the said person operate a machine.

And the most important thing is, the shop that sold this equipment has a reputation to uphold and should not be held responsible for stupid people doing stupid stuff, luckily they are aware of this and will instruct you on proper care and control. You, won’t find this type of service at the box stores .Amen.

When you shop, shop Old School, with a reputable, sincere dealers, hard to find, but they are out there .

Ask for them by name and ask your neighbors. “Help, Stomp Out, Stupidly, help, Duh Guy.”